my mind

I am having some issues lately. I am one of those people who has problems with depression. It is sort of like a life long low grade fever sort of depression. I can get out of bed, and go to work and function, but everything is sort of gray tone. No color in my world. About 7 years ago, while I was in counseling, my counselor suggested that I wasn't fully not depressed, and maybe I need to have my meds checked. She talked to my doctor and he agreed to alter them and it was truly as if the clouds parted and the angels sang. For the first time in years, I felt joy, and I laughed and really enjoyed things. And those meds worked for 7 glorious years. And then, they didn't.  So I have been on new meds for about 3 weeks and dude, I am not having a good time lately. It just sucks. I was having such a good run, and then they started not being so great. I don't want to feel bad anymore. I want to stop crying. I want to look forward to stuff, instead of just dreading things and being crappy. And I have the worst job ever right now, and can barely force myself to actually go there every day. I am not now, nor have I ever been, suicidal, and that isn't going to change. I know how it feels to feel good.  I know I can get there again, but right now I am not there and that just sucks!!!